Good deeds follow you...

All good things come to an end, but good deeds don't - this is my mother's life in a single sentence.

I have had the privilege to see her life and my wider family's journey, her tactics and all, from the front rows. Recently she declared that I have had 5 gurus, and she questioned on who was 'the Prime' by priority and knowledge. I had no hesitation in acknowledging that hers was the Prime position.

Some that knew her, said that if conditions were right, she would have been a lawyer. Some that knew her, felt she would have been a good manager, some felt that if she was born as a man in a traditional patriarchal society, she would have no parallel. To me, she was initially a confused lady, then a woman in distress, then a master tactician, then a Mom who was struggling with multiple responsibilities and finally a Guru. She would seem a paradox to many and only those who can really get to know her, can see beyond the contradictions.

 'Gu-ru' means remover of darkness in traditional Sanskrit. Off all the 5 Gurus, she indeed has a special place because she is my mom too. While the Hindu Vedas typically accord this status to Pitha (Dad), in my case, mom precedes the status.

Samples from her Oral teachings

• Have a goal and make your life linked to the goal
• Keep aside x% of your salary to charity, as your salary increases the net contribution increases, but stick to that x%

Samples from her Perceptive teachings

• Sampradaya (religious practises) are required, humanity takes precedence
• Don't make decisions for women (wife/sister), help that she makes her own
• A mom, that she does is neither right or wrong, it is simply an action

There are many more such teachings and I may have to write volumes of books to present the context and learning.

Her greatest contribution to worldly causes:

1. Instrumental in building a temple for Lord Krishna at Neyveli against multi-dimensional challenges 
2. Served 7 Jeeyars at this time of temple invocation
3. Feeding people - anyone that knew her will concur on this aspect  
4. Financial contributions to Srivaishnava literature and critique as well
5. Many many other personal contributions to many people 

She had hinted to my wife on 31st Aug about her upcoming end, subsequently in the first week of November, she personally presented me with two dates 25th/26th of Nov (ekadesi/dvadesi). For the unaware, it may be a person in delirium, to me it was very clear that she knew what she was talking about.

She has narrated so many religious stories and folklore. One such time worthy of mention was in late 1980s. She was in a precarious situation and I was quite young. Doctors had advised a surgery, but she always made her own decisions. So, she decided to fight the situation as opposed to go through surgery - through this long year and half of struggle, two stories were of significant importance. Even though we belong to Srivaishnavaite tradition, I was allowed to explore other concepts and she would feed my logical brain the same.

She would narrate Adi-Sankara's story (click here) and would say that I would return like Sankara in her last stages of life. The second story was that of Pattinathar's (Click here) who also rushed to his mother's last stages and did the rights. Her message was very clear that she wouldn't leave the world then, but when she did so later, that I would come back well in time. She boosted confidence that she was not going to leave me in my childhood times.

Relating to the stories, her ask from me was very simple, that my elder brother would do the traditional rites and ceremony; I was simply asked to cry at her funeral. She would recite the Pattinathar poems to me highlighting the value of mother and what it means in the life. (The poems are in the link). The reason she would quote these two ascetics was that even the renounced can't let go off their motherly passion and love, most importantly it was their symbolic message to the world about the value of Motherhood. 

Even though she presented two dates for her last day, she asked me to go back to UK and subsequently on 21st when I called her on FaceTime, she asked me to return to India with my wife and kids. It was her final test for me, Subsequently on 22nd, I had informed her that I booked the tickets to come on 23rd, she gave me a smile to let me know that I had passed the final test. So I thought, but there was one more test.

In the recent times, she had placed on me the burden to give her permission to leave this world which I always jokingly dismissed. On 25th evening, she rapidly deteriorated and I was forced on to act on this burden, by her grace, the perceptive teaching intuitively worked; I said to her that I won't make the decision for you, hesitantly I give my permission for you to leave (and sought her to forgive), I helped her to narrow down the decision for next step to two choices (as per her wishes that she had conveyed in different periods of time); So, the final decision off those two choices was left to her! I followed her perceptive teaching of helping her narrow the choices, rather than me making it for her. She forcefully coughed and we asked her to call on Lord Ram. She overcame her bodily complications to call and acknowledge that she had received my choices.

After a high drama on 25th night, her vitals came back to normal and we all relaxed for a four hour sleep, true to a Mother's quality she made us sleep peacefully and quietly left to her Guru's abode on 26th between 3:30 AM - 4:00 AM. 

Though my framework of God is different to where I started, in her own framework, the lady that was instrumental in building the Krishna temple and a strong devotee of Hanuman, was full of symbolism. Her cremation happened at Balaji Mandal, ashes immersed at Hanuman Ghat in Krishna River at Beechupally. 

I had not only lost my mother, but my Prime Guru too.

Om Shanti! (Let Peace prevail!)