An Eulogy

Dear Guruji, 

This is how we address each other, albeit the difference in height, knowledge, experience, stature - every aspect remarkably varied. Our mutual friend shared the worst possible news, that you had not been with us since Jan. It has been 3 hours, I am sitting here and wondering what has hit me. Only consoling thing is that I had taken the opportunity to speak to you recently and was happy to know that how satisfied you are and enjoying the retired life. You retired ahead of the usual traditional retirement age, just that very act defines you.

 

How do I label our association? I know that I am your disciple - but you treated me like a brother, friend and at times you would turn around and say - "ennamolam solreenga and I am learning new things from you…(still can hear your voice with Kannada accented Tamil & English). I would shrug as usual and say you are the Guru - the teacher. You would laugh it off. 

 

I always look back at my decision to come back from The US in 2001 and see that as one of the best decisions in my life; everyone wanted to stay and carry on the American dream. I came back for many reasons. If I hadn't, I would have never met a soft-giant like you. I always used to tease you a 7 foot 'small' man (as that I is how you referred yourself always). Wholly unassuming, humble and soft spoken man that you are, would never flash your credentials or knowledge and wisdom. We bonded through a pre-sales project, that we named as RAW-B. Everyone thought that we were working on some top secret project for the 'RAW'.

 

When I came back from US, the company had grown and become completely unidentifiable. So when I felt out of place, you had taken me under your wings with no expectations in return. Only when our mutual friend TS shared your credentials, I did come to know about your background and the stature. I strongly think because of your unassuming nature and the simple ways, our friendship had grown very strong. If I had known about your true value, may be I would have backed off in respect. 

 

You never cared for money, fame or titles; you created the next version of me and a large part of what I am today. You treated people as they are, remained curious always, worked passionately, never to please anyone including yourself and that success would automatically follow; in fact not to label 'success' was your mantra! When we won the $5M dollar sale, I remember well that we were not rewarded as we should have been. 

Typical of my old self, I was in a rebellious mood but as ever, you calmed me down with a dose of Karma theory. Subsequently Karma caught up and we laughed about it… 

one of the best things to happen during that period was the time we spent together to publish our own work together on a technical paper - my second publication, but the first of its kind given the wider audience reach.

 

Among the many interests that we shared, passion for food is something that we truly relished. I remember how we used to find new restaurants every week in some nook and corner to try different flavours. Of course, how could I forget the best bisi-bele bath that your missus made for us. You had requested her to make a special bisi-bele just for me and the flavour still lingers. 

Our in-person friendship was short-lived, as I moved to UK in 2003, however it grew through emails, forwards and occasional phone calls. Only once we had shared a bit of despondent mood about how the company we worked for treated you! Apart from that it was always high spirited, fun, teasing conversation and something to learn from you. I fondly remember how you had written to me in 2016 in a child-like manner at the occasion of your book on Data Privacy publication.

 

I am unable to convert the feelings into words about our relationship and the time we spent together. The late nights we used to spend together in discussing project design, that always veered into philosophy, corporate culture, capitalism, politics, cricket, food and at times about your boys all remain deeply etched in my mind. 

 

One of my recent best decisions was to call quite a few people from our old gang (due to lockdown) and of course you were one of the first people that I reached out. The child like tone & joy was still in there in your voice. 

 

I can hear your voice and the words that you had chosen to retire early, contended, happy and turned your daily routine to write your books etc. I was extremely happy for you and shared gratitude in shaping my life. I shared my experiences and what I had achieved and the types of things I had done. You were so glad for my experiences too. I remember you called me to visit you and that we could have longer hours of discussions with nothing to worry about. I was eagerly waiting for that, but you took off after a contended life - but, you had promised me a chat and bisi-bele. 

 

I miss you guruji. I am sure you would be smiling and dismissing my sentimental mood and chide me gently. Somehow I was able to call you just a couple of weeks before your parting especially  on your birthday and exchange my wishes. Had I known, that would have been our last call, I wonder how and what we would have discussed it? You would still be dismissive and looking forward to that as an adventure. 

Many may come in one's life and go, but only a few like you that come, decorate, embellish and remain for ever.  

 

Guruji to quote you "Live humbly, there are great people around us, let us learn!"

The gift of maggie and cereals!

This blog has got little to do with O' Henry's gift of Magi or Maggie food controversy. Based on a real life incident, but any interpretations are yours and yours only!


I was on my way to ASDA with a mission on hand - I had to buy a few things and one of the items was a cereal for the kids - Kellogg's Rice Crispies Multi-grain Shapes cereal. Well as usual heard half of it and assumed - ah! big deal I can get that. I was a bit annoyed with the missus for reminding me ten times and let me forget the fact that I forgot to buy the cereal twice in my previous visits to ASDA.

Today I was destined to buy or at least I thought so. Happily set off with the shopping cart, I got a whatsapp text with all groceries in the list with the cereal name shortened like MGSR cereal... Oh my - for god sake, I run a proper function at my office, am I a kid to be reminded like this with a whatsapp message?

Bought all the stuff properly and I entered the aisle 22 - 2 is my favourite number, how much better can it get? A casual walk and I couldn't find KRCMGS... I am casual, so I should have missed it. I need to get a 10/10 today, so I spent an extra careful 1 minute walk around aisle 22. What?? I couldn't find that box. ok ok, let me go to a different aisle and come back - another 2 minutes later, I was back in aisle 22 - 10 minutes later I was still there; there were so many combinations - rice crispies, multi-grains, kellogg's, and shapes but I couldn't find the bloody KRCMGS. I must have started talking to myself, because I had a few curious eyes on me. I was getting really anxious!

Then the socialist in me started cursing the brands and the brand tactics of manipulating the families and deep down from somewhere the "male chauvinist" started blaming the women and moms... I suddenly remembered how the world is driven essentially by 7 brands etc. etc.

Well whatever be the macro-politics, this evening I will be a laughing stock at the dinner table and the next day morning kids are going to be cranky - especially the little one. The boy likes porridge, well you never know there are another 100 brands and flavours of porridge too - omg! I am not buying something else that was not on the list... I will be off her list then.

Reality kicked in - after all I am faced with a real problem, and I am not afraid of asking help. So I called the missus and she re-defined KRCMGS crystal clear - I decided to use technology to my help. Took a photo of the racks and whatsapp-ed her.

Missus and her friends suddenly turned religious?

Back in India, month of Margazhi is an auspicious time and is dedicated to Godliness. Especially in the yester years, girls wake up early in the morning and do rangoli etc.

This afternoon the missus, her friends and their friends were discussing on the phone about an early morning program. I heard them saying - we should get up early in the morning, quickly bathe, dress-up and be ready for queuing up. They also chatted about their pre-marriage times during Margazhi that it was habitual and used to wake up early during Margazhi, bathe in spite of the cold weather (!) and hence this should help for the next day activity. Hmm I thought what happened to these women? Has the Margazhi month finally made an impact on these women that they have suddenly become so pious...

One of them talked about the fact that crowd and queues can be challenging, that husbands take care of the kids. I got a bit queasy... OMG how am I going to manage a 2 and 6 year old the next day morning. I just nodded uneasily without clues.

Then they started talking that it is once in a year activity and benefits the whole family. So they indeed should go early in the morning.  Hmm the women must be keen to participate in the religious activity and seek blessings for the whole family; if so, then I should take care of the kids.

The next topic was that I should probably make the food, so they can come back around 11 have a brunch and head back. Wow I thought, these women are indeed trying their best, may be catching up the missed opportunities for the whole year and earnestly making efforts to touch-base to their religious side. If this is the case, then somehow I should manage the kids and cook as well. Now they are talking about waking about 4AM or 5AM... They even talked about the point that if they over-slept then may be can queue up after 11 as the crowds would have tamed.

I really felt glad that the missus, her friends have suddenly turned a new leaf and planning to participate in the religious events. I said to myself that the next day must be Vaikunta Ekadesi. So I rushed to check the calendars if it was vaikunta ekadesi - the annual 11th day festival when the heavenly portal opens up and people are blessed. But no it is not ekadesi? So where are they all planning to queue-up?

Apparently Boxing Day sale! Aaha withouth realising this, I promised to cook and take care of kids as well. Worse, the wallet is going to go for a toss! 

Do you relish your paydays anymore? ...

It’s about 10 PM and the night has started off with some strong philosophical debate. I was lost in thoughts about the value of IT, automation and how sometimes the ‘real’ value of humane consciousness may be losing after all! Let me forewarn this is a philosophical yet valuable thought-train for technology leaders and an interesting question for fellow bread-winners to take away…

First the question: are you relishing the salary that you draw especially in current macro-and micro-economic period?

In my school days, I remember how the 1^st of month set the expectations rolling and how the family prepared itself to the run up-to an end of month. Planning started at least a fortnight in advance and the joy of being born in a middle class family means – it allows the family members to gain a concept of ‘planning’ – This prepares the younger members of the family to understand the concept of money, planning and more importantly saving. Straightaway as a kid, I got myself the hat of project manager – Planning and Commercial acumen on the mould.

There was a little hum of joy for the first few days, the cash would be counted and the old man would go to a state run bank to deposit… Subsequently this element disappeared as the cheque came through and very soon, the money was directly deposited and cheque as well disappeared, but now there was a payslip.

Fast forward to 1990s when I began to earn. This was a time where IT bloomed in India and I earned much more than my dad would have in a decade – Soon I was in the land of opportunities where the pay cheque was delivered twice a month. The feeling was double and the payslip was a good feel-factor.

Subsequently with good business cases for IT automation and ‘value’ to employee, HR departments have totally done away with the payslips and now it is just a downloadable pdf. The situation is I don’t download the payslip that often. In fact I even forgot the last payday, which is what set these thoughts rolling… I will throw in a piece of info: every month-end, I still review the accounts, debt etc. Anyone who knows me, will surely concur on my management accounting skills and how I apply it on my household finances as well to review my investments and debts… I share this coz’ it’s not that I am at a position where pay-cheques are not important – I give due consideration to finances, but the very fact of automation means that many of you like me, wouldn’t be receiving a pay cheque or a pay slip – so back to my opening question – do you relish your paydays anymore?

How many of you enjoy or carry the feeling of earning money? Have the HR teams made an incorrect decision about doing away with physical payslips – has this concept subconsciously made us the humans lose the very concept about relishing what we earn and would this impact our productivity? According to me, this is quite an interesting concept in the days of ‘everything on social media/cloud’ and ‘smart-computing/tablets’ – How humane are we? How is technology impacting us subconsciously?

PS: If I have money and time, I would be keen to do a research on this topicJ!

Christmas concert and my emotions...

I was a bit emotional this morning, when I attended my son's act on the Christmas concert. He played three wise-men and to my surprise the concert was 'de-christianised'! (not that I mind about religion, I guess its the other extreme of whats happening on India, a by-product of politically correct Britain) Nothing about Christmas or Jesus Christ - it was all about baby Jesus crying and about 30 kids did many things to calm down Baby Jesus... The school HM was clear that they appreciate these ancillary activities, but the school was all about education - reminded me of my own school (Jawahar  School). In fact they had spent less than a week in all to do the show and I was quite impressed! Doing a show like that with thirty 4-5 year olds, those teachers are excellent! Well done Feltham-hill infant school!

I couldn't dismiss my thoughts about the similarities in Krishna and Jesus's early life stories...

I thought about my school day interests on dramas and how i never made it to those... (not to mention I am Piscean) Interestingly Rajesh and I did a skit and recorded on cassettes... We were that creative! Selling our own drama shows on recorded cassettes at the age of 12 or so.

So my question - were the emotions from my childhood or the religious similarity kindling my passion about Krishna or the missed chances of theaters and plays?

I concluded that it must be my 5 year old who's growing up and making me proud. I am thinking of working with the school to help their governance... I am impressed with school teachers and with the little boy... He may not know, but it's an important day and step in his life...

222 - 'V' day

After months, I am back into blogging. I decided to get into a mind-judo in May 2009 and its been two years exactly.  Some close friends and family members felt, I am wasting time and money to get into this mind-judo. They were actually testing my determination. In fact I had a strong, loud argument that I should not get into this mind-judo and I may be cheating myself.

On 29th May 2009,  I began my journey into MBA at Warwick. I am almost there with my dissertation just remaining. I am quite pleased for the way I have conducted myself and the way I have applied. I tripped many times and I did not even know sometimes... Such was my judo. It is still not over. However I can declare that after those splendid two years, I am ready for the final frontier.

Another 'second' in my life: there is another 'two' happening in my life and expecting him/her in mid-July.

The other two - recently I was 'promoted' to No.2 at my office and this was confirmed on May 2nd. Its another landmark in what went past.

To celebrate the three twos, I had been to 222. Ramesh a good friend of ours has been saying to us about this restaurant for years and today came the opportunity. An out and out veggie in London. Very nice and I had a sumptuous lunch at 222. Fantastic. Even my 3yr-boy loved it.  

Who controls me?

Happy new year to all! Its been a nice start to the year with snow and all the nice stuff. But this means the work is going to pile up and replay later. Its just that goal post is slightly moved... Ah about the title of this post: I am being controlled for sometime now by someone... Normally i always drive things (note: I am not a control freak). There are always situations that you can't control but you have ways to manage and get along... Guess who's this someone who is trying to outsmart or in other words keeping me in toes? No not my wife or my manager or my neighbour or my parents (they relinquished it long back)... as i mention my parents, you would have guessed, its my 2 year 2 month old son! He is all pervasive and omnipresent! The one who keeps me fully on toes, I plan something, he keeps coming up with new challenges... I have run teams of different sizes and challenges... This guy is a one man transformation programme. One thing for sure, I am getting better every day and gives new meaning everyday... He is oozing energy and i am sipping it rather than tiring out... I understand his dynamics and learn to interact with a two year old, i should proudly say 'he controls me now' not in the actual sense of controlling me, but he is just shaping me up as well as getting chiseled! Life is a beauty...

Fall or Autumn - time for "Insight"

If you have noticed, my summer has passed like a whirlwind. Be it office, family or at my Uni, I have worked very hard and 'smart' to deliver. Riding many horses at the same time has been a challenge, but I am getting better by inches. Fall or Autumn is a season of insight to me. Why do people have many words for the same thing? How could I do better? I know my goal, but there are many paths... which one should I choose?

A few years ago, I asked my dad (who is a staunch believer in God) about polytheism and his view on it...Hinduism is a way of life or a religion of religions, so practising a way is such a challenge if your roots belong to it. His view was quite simple. Let us say you want to go to destination A and if it has 10 routes, travelling by route 1 for 5 miles and route 2 for 4 miles and route 3 for 3 miles won't take you to A. But all routes do take you to A. All roads lead to same destination. The message was 'You have to choose a way AND stick to it'. Very important is the AND clause. I have been riding many horses but not many paths, but I am now at the junction of many paths. The situation reminds me of Robert Frost's 'Road Not Taken'. I have to choose one! Languages do have different words for same thing, religions have many paths to same God. I choose simple words to describe complex things, so is simplicity the best option? A conjecture.

Family tree is getting rusty, the roots need my support or do i yearn for support from the roots? A Banyan tree symbolises my position. I am an 'aerial prop' trying to reach the roots and not yet there, but will be there one day. Is the prop supporting the tree or the prop wishing to take support from the root? Science says that these props become trunks and are indistinguishable. But thoughts question the logic "the props do they support the roots or take support by growing to the roots?"

Don't get me wrong, I am not melancholic, this is an insight into the path that should be taken. I am strong, sound and resolute to achieve! Readers have asked me on the absence of thoughts, actually they are never absent, just silent.

So what did i do the last fours months? Assignments for the Uni, family time, extended family time, moving houses. Ah! that reminds me that i am sitting in a developed world where it has taken 2 months for the telecom company to provision a broadband for me. I am not joking, in fact i should say it has taken me 3 months. I called TalkTalk on Aug 14th to mention i am moving houses (I moved on Sep 20th), they disconnected me on Sep 10th and i got my broadband on Nov 3rd. What a service! I called, tweaked, poked and finally gave up! you have to win some and loose some... I ordered a slow mobile broadband and ploughed through my way...Life now is a bliss with the super fast 4Mb broadband!!!

I imagine what if one day the internet goes down? (post for a different day)...

Months of Rollercoaster

Usually the last quarter months of October-November-December are of huge importance for all cultures, ages, religions, artists; in short for everyone. Hindus celebrate Navratri, Diwali and other significant festivals. Muslims celebrate Ramadan, Christians celebrate birth of Jesus; Nobel prizes are awarded in this time of the year, Booker prizes to novels; Children celebrate the festivals mentioned above and winter sets in... A cycle that never tires most of us, but makes us work hard for the fun and frolic that culminates in the last quarter of an year.

Year 2008 will be remembered and quoted most often in History for one single reason - not that we had the CDH reactor testing or failing to test the Big Bang theory, not for the reason that Olympics was a great show, but for one single reason - the 'Credit Crunch'; As we talk about 1930 great depression and 2000 dot com busts today, we would talk about the brink of economic disasters in 2008 and how the world leaders got together(?) to 're-solve '(?) the crunch. The question mark is obvious in its placement as whether they really got together and who solved it? Actually did they solve it? Often i quip about project managers that they create an issue in first place and then they painstakingly solve it later to get the name and fame... Its a similar case here.

Greed breeds greed is a simple quote often repeated in many literatures. We seldom learn lessons and that's including me! Anyways that's a simple and foremost reason of 2008 problems. I also would blame it on IT. yeah CDS and sub-prime were all possible coz' of IT and if it were not to do with the power of IT services, the traders and analysts would have not come up with so many complex algorithms to trade and different products to trade as well. If that had not happened we would have not landed ourselves into Credit Crunch... I am just ridiculing IT that's it and not seriously mean IT as the problem for all the mess. People say you could use science for good and bad, religion for good and bad. I say the same - you can use IT to help you or land you in trouble as well. All these are tools which could be used in either the way...

Personally i am in a rollercoaster as well; I am home alone with my family off to India for a month's break and i would join them in a few weeks, but at the moment I miss my family - very odd statement given that i have been a family man only for 8 months... yes i miss them. Sleepless nights, winter setting in all adds to my woes... I plan to go enjoy my photography and other hobbies that i would like to persue in this time of anonymity.

The roller coaster continues...

The only 'Man' who shares my bedroom!

Before you start on your thought trains, let me announce: We have been blessed with a little 'blue' bundle! It all happened in a splash second and in my world the 'second' counts to almost 18 hours. The 'blue' bundle was supposed to be delivered a week before Christmas. When the amazons, ebays, pcworlds, royalmails are struggling to deliver Christmas and new year presents in time, the eternal postmaster delivered ahead of schedule!!

Generally people who are happy when projects are delivered before schedule, why do they get tensed and stressed when some projects like the above are pre-delivered? I can say why... 26th November - A fine Monday morning, (20 odd days before actual release date) I was anxiously wakened up by the in-laws to the fact that the development team lead (my missus) has given signals to go to delivery. Oh my God! Though the hospital bags were sort of ready, we had never visited the labour ward i.e. the production environment wasn't rehearsed... Ok now its time to show the leadership skills... Got a big sheet of paper and wrote on block letters 'ON LABOUR' - chucked that sheet into hospital bag, grabbed all things what i cud, and rushed to the first floor car park.

Now from the floor 1, i had to cross four more floors to go down to streets - a bizarre parking arrangement (visit me when the blue bundle sleeps - you will know how!). Onto the streets, tick the GPS follow the route to M3, cheer the missus and chant some religious mantras to keep the spirits up, comfort the in laws that hospital isn't far away and motorways are always free(on a Monday morning 7:20?) and manage to hold the car onto a straight line!!

M3-M25- chertsey - signs to st peters and now what? Search the labour ward parking. Ok early morning got a better parking slot - throw the sheet of paper with words 'ON LABOUR' on top of the car dashboard, that way i wouldn't get a parking ticket (and i did not). After 18 hours of struggle ending up in C-section, the blue little bundle cried! My heart felt appreciations to the whole crew in St.Peters. They are a great team.

Ok everything settled? by now two days of the week had passed by. As usual after release, there were quite a few hiccups and by the 8th day when things started to settle, the mother in law had a heart ache - run to West Middx emergency - things looked okay and everything looked like normal, but not - Friday morning the heating system went down - what more can u ask? To complicate the missus ran high temperatures...

Ok everything settled? by now a fortnight was over. What next back to office and join the fun... Wednesday the 11th December - a prat came and hit my car on the rear, causing me a neck strain! And now, here i am giving an account of high drama of the last three weeks.

Ok everything settled? btw the blue bundle is to be named as 'Achyuth' pronounce 'achu-th'. to be named after a quality of Hindu God Vishnu - indestructible, a hero who would outlive challenges - reminding his birth style. His naming ceremony will be web casted live... wait for the URL link!

Ok to the title - The only 'Man' who shares my bedroom! - now you know him!